Fern Larsen, cont'd

The Larsens with Rev. Lois Knutson

Lollie: I work in a nursing home - in an Alzheimer's unit - and so sometimes I do feel like there's never an end to that. And I do enjoy it - it's basically the only job I'd want to do anymore because they're wonderful people. We have six children and we've done caregiving at home too.

We had a son who was in an accident and we had him home for a few years before he passed away. So we learned to do that. I am so grateful that my Mom and Dad are in such wonderful shape they are - even with the problems they have. Because where I work, they're not as good as my Mom and Dad actually, and I take care of people who are almost my age who don't have their memory or their mind. Dad remembers things that I don't remember anymore, so that's wonderful really.

What advice can you give us?

Lollie: Oh, take time and smell the roses. You just have to take one day at a time - and not always even a day, sometimes a minute at a time. Just stop and take a deep breath and just try and put yourself in their place, for one thing. Because one day we will all be there. Just try and think of how it is for them. Because the people that I work with too - you're going to be there. So, try and remember how hard it is for them and it makes it easier for you. It really does because it makes us feel so good - because you're making them feel good and when you're making someone else feel good you can't help but feel better yourself. It makes you forget all the aches and pains and feel sorry for yourself. It really does.

Do you ever just reach a point where you want to just slam the door on your job and say why am I doing this?

Lollie: Only once a night No, yes, we do because you try so hard to make them feel better. Somedays one smile can make your whole day wonderful. It's like, oh - I got that person to smile today and they feel good about themselves again. You try and make them feel like they're still people instead of just someone because where we work too it's a locked unit and that's pretty depressing sometimes. They say well, they don't know - but they do. They stand at the doors and they bang on the doors and they want to go out, you know? So, at times they remember and then, of course, it's gone.

Lloyd, what does honor mean to you?

Lloyd: Well, honor is what the kids have been doing for us. If it hadn't been for the kids we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't have been here.

Fern: I said if it hadn't have been for the kids we wouldn't have been here. It's so great to help us - all of them. We had two more daughters that help us too. I said he would have been in a nursing home and I probably would have been in an apartment because I wouldn't be able to take care of all this anyway. You know a half-acre here to do and all this stuff. I would have gone in an apartment.

Fern's caregiving ended when Lloyd died in February 2002. Read excerpts of Rev. Knutson's eulogy.

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