Fern Larsen, CareGiver

Montevideo, Minnesota

I've been the prime caregiver. I've been doing this now and helping since he got sick in what was it, Lloyd - 1970 that you got the emphysema. So he was unable to work or do anything special.

What is your routine like?

My routine is, I don't know, just about all day and part of the - most of the night. Yeah, four o'clock in the morning and many times during the night. When he can't get enough air, we'll sit on the edge of the bed and see that he gets this and that. Get that concentrator going in. Pulling all those tubes. I have them in the bathroom closet so we don't have that noise all night. Pull it through here and get his table rows of medication out so I have it there ready. If they're out of something I just go digging around at night to find it if it runs out, you know.

I've got his stuff all over. Chest of drawers are full and he's got all those tubes that have to be replaced every so often. Get water on that concentrator and see that he gets something to eat. Help him get his clothes on in the morning. He can't get his shoes and stockings off because his ankles swell up, you know. I can't even say all I'm doing.

I have good daughters who will help me. I have one that lives in town that has her own office and is her own boss, so she usually calls everyday, asks if I need something. So she'll take me wherever - even if she is busy at the computer. She wouldn't have to, you know? But she does. Because she has plenty to do herself - she does her yard and her flowers and of course he's gone - I don't know, many hours a day.

Is there a family plan to help Mom?

Jerry: Somewhat there is, I guess. We all do our certain things. Wally, Jim here if Dad is going to the Hospital, they come all the way from Glenwood down to Monty here and take him all the way to the cities and back and they've been doing this for some years now. I kind of take care of the outside chores around here - the household. If it needs something done in here that Mom and Dad can't do. The outside - the painting, the staining, trimming trees, cutting trees. Whatever needs to be done.

What happens during a crisis?

Lollie: Well, usually the ones closest, of course, are called. Which isn't us because we're furthest away, of course. Usually my sister in town is the first one to come if Dad needs to go to the hospital or something. That's if they take him up here, of course. If he needs to go down the VA in the cities from there, then we usually come here and take him from here and down. Everyone pitches in at that time. Every one of us does. We all just come from all over. We just do, you know? And because they've always been there for us, we try and be there for them - which isn't always possible, but we try. They're so good. We never had to ask them to be here for us - they just always were. That wasn't only in the good times, or just the bad times, it was always. So we try our best to. So, hopefully we can.

Betty: Caregiving means taking care of Mom and Dad, like my sister said, because they've taken care of us forever. Just always being there for them. Oh, yeah, every job I have I make sure it's part time so I can come home and take care of Mom and Dad.

Next: Lollie describes her work in an Alzheimer's unit