Bill & Marisol Deutsch, cont'd

How did you meet?

Marisol: I've known him 7 years, actually. I used to work for him. And I moved to Virginia, uh, I used to live there for, like, three years and somehow we got in contact and uh, this was a year and a half ago.

Bill: And we started a long distance...

Marisol: A long distance relationship ... and he, he actually kidnapped me from Virginia and brought me down and proposed and we got married and it's like a roller coaster but we just get back on it and try to, take things at an ease and not try to overwhelm yourself at times.

Bill: Yes, that's uh, a lot of times I just feel overwhelmed because, things that I wouldn't that I wouldn't question or things, that I, I would just do things and sometimes I have to, to, try and function and, and, and do what I have to do is sometimes just too much and so I have somebody to, to ... I'm lucky - I have somebody that I can fall back on, not everybody has that.

See, one thing that I noticed with this problem that I would, I would choose to uh, not engage myself because it's easy to withdraw with this kind of problem because sometimes the things that you want to say aren't there to say them and rather than just try to fight it out, it's easy just to sit back. And so, one of the most important things that I, I think that I did for myself was to find Dr. Ryder and to, to see him because he, he has discussed this problem, he has talked about the different things that I might encounter, how to make greater use of the things that I can control - writing things down. Dr. Ryder has challenged me and he has, he has helped me and Marisol because there can be friction, I mean, if two people are ...

There can be friction under the best of circumstances ...

Bill: Yes, exactly. But in a situation like this, whenever illness, I mean ... when I was working as a doctor I would see that a lot of times illness brought people together - sometimes, not always. Sometimes it, it separates people. Especially if you have a situation where the illness could be over a long period of time. So, I'm lucky that I have Marisol, that Dr. Ryder has helped us to try to understand each other a little better so that we can be more effective.

Marisol, you said that you were not feeling well?

Marisol: Yeah, it's true, it gets so upsetting but, I've been sick, for like a long time and I guess what's going on, it's really catching up to me. It's, it's just so hard to see the person that you love, not functioning in the way that they should. And you just have to hold on.

Bill: She, she has an old stomach ulcer. And it's gotten, I mean it's now, so now she's under treatment for that because she's been experiencing uh, pain. And so she's under you know, a doctor's ...

Marisol: ...care...

Bill: taking care of it. See, a lot of times what happens is that she will forget about herself because she's uh, wrapped up in me. In, in...

Marisol: In what's going on.

Bill: ... in what's going on. Especially with...at one point I had so many appointments for physical therapy and after the surgery and things like that so, I mean it was easy for her not to even think about herself and you know, and when I remember I will tell her: Did you take your medicine? You know...

Last question Our series is called, "And Thou Shalt Honor." Can you tell me what that means to you - "And Thou Shalt Honor"?

Marisol: To me when you say "Thou Shalt Honor" it brings me, memories of when you're marrying someone and you're taking that vow that, in sickness and in health you should honor that person and take care of that person until death do you part.

Bill: Yes, it, it ... we had a beautiful wedding and, and uh you know, it's a question of trying to remember uh, what it is you felt at the time that you uh, did get married and that you have the respect and the love so that when things go bad and uh, it ... you just are able to, to help each other, to maintain that type of, bond that it is that brought people together.

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